Is it really so important for the dad to be at the delivery?

The role of dad during a child's birth has gained more and more prominence over the years, to the point that it's expected that today's new father will do some of the work himself by cutting the cord or "catching" the baby (for experienced rugby players only).

But is the idea all it's cracked up to be? Laura Yates, who blogs for the Birmingham Mail, doesn't think so. In a post entitled "Who says boyfriends should be present during labour?" she says that women with partner-coaches tend to get more epidurals (he doesn't like to see you in pain so is more likely to encourage it). She also thinks the messy reality can interfere with life after birth - that the moment of crowning becomes seared in his brain, emerging - as it were - every time he revisits the area.

She doesn't say whether her boyfriend is also the daddy, but she's right about one thing though - having your partner in the room has become de rigeur and to deviate from the practice seems to imply something about your relationship or the type of parent your partner will be.

Throughout my whole pregnancy with The Kid at no point did I have any deep rooted desire to have the Other Half there during the birth. Judging by the response I got from some of my friends, that made me as much as a monster as Harold Shipman. One friend was horrified when I said I'd been thinking about going it alone. She told me I'd be depriving my man of one of the most important moments in his life.

Of course, there's also the small factor of what the dad/boyfriend/husband wants. Being there to offer support and lay eyes on the newborn can be as motivating for men as women.

During my pregnancy I briefly floated the idea that my mother accompany me rather than my husband. It was out of the question as far as he was concerned. He wanted to be there and have the birth as something we did together, for better or worse. On the day itself, he was steadfast and soothing and kept talking to me throughout the whole thing.

In the end, Yates's boyfriend did attend the birth. He stayed up next to her head rather than grabbing a ringside seat further south. That's an approach I wholeheartedly endorse. If the partner is in the room, the birth should be a shared experience, not a rubbernecking opportunity.

Source: Alpha Mummy - Times Online - WBLG